Older Professor: “Everyone has pot-parties, why don’t you?” Now what would be comparable for today? “Everyone has granite countertops, why don’t you?”

Overheard in a Sociology class, Sondheim Building
by Hickleper

Professor: If I do nothing else, I can teach you how to taunt the elderly.

Overheard in a Philosophy class, Academic IV
by Hickleper

(Professor struggles with a simple subtraction problem.)
Professor: I took the SAT in 6th grade to get into an advanced math class, and I beat 50% of that year’s college bound seniors. Look at me now.

Overheard in a class, Sondheim Hall
by Jason

Professor: What would Jesus do? Jesus would kill the tards.

Overheard in Lecture Hall 4, Academic IV Building
by viva_espain

Girl: A bidet is like a douche… for your ass.

Overheard outside Patapsco Hall
by PhantomBovine

Professor: How do want you the test to be?
Student, in reference to another student: He wants the test to be true and false with the wrong answers circled.

Overheard in the Information Technology/Engineering Building
by Reet A.

Engineering Professor: In welding, you get good penetration in the butt joint, but you risk weld nuggets.

Overheard in an Engineering Class, Biological Sciences Building
by She just dries like this

Professor: Music doesn’t swell up out of nowhere when you start singing.
Student: Actually, sometimes it does. You should hang out with me more often.

Overheard in a class in the Fine Arts Building
by JK

Elderly Student: What exactly is jazz fusion a fusion of?
Other Student: It’s a mix of jazz and funk.
Elderly Student, angered: Well that doesn’t help of a hell of a lot. What is funk?
Professor: Ah… black… rock?

Overheard in a Music class in the Fine Arts Building
by gf

Professor: I’m not going to get up in front of a bunch of college students and say
that you shouldn’t drink or smoke.

Overheard in Lecture Hall 2, Chemistry Building
by a student