Girl: For next semester, I definitely need to stock up on Ziplock bags because I get injured so much. Even when I’m sober. I bruise like a summer fruit.
Overheard in the Library
by Lisa
Archive for the 'Ditzes' Category
She’s moving on to asphyxiation I guess.
Published June 19, 2008 A.O.K. Library , Ditzes , Students 0 CommentsDitz: But, see, Ava was Hitler’s wife and that’s not cool.
Overheard in the finals study room, University Center
by Gem
Well somebody failed English 100…
Published April 27, 2008 Ditzes , On a Cell Phone , Outside , Retriever Activity Center , Students 0 CommentsGirl on Cell: I was so excited. I was literally walking on air.
Overheard outside the RAC
by Katie
Wanna be my committer… but like in obsolete language?
Published April 8, 2008 Ditzes , Students , The Commons 0 CommentsGirl 1: How do you spell committer? Like a committer of a crime?
Girl 2: It’s not a word.
Girl 1: Yes, it is!
Girl 2: Hold on. Oh yes, it is. I just checked on dictionary.com. Two m’s and two t’s. But it means a fornicator… but like in obsolete language.
Overheard in the Commons
by Lisa
Serenade for her?
Published April 4, 2008 Ditzes , On a Cell Phone , Students , The Commons 0 CommentsGirl on phone: I would totally serenade for her but I woke up this morning and I have two huge holes in my nose. (pause) No, not nostrils, like pores! (pause) Of course, she is going to see them, we are going to have sex after my serenade. (pause) YES, I am THAT good. (pause) AND in bed. What can I say, I am pretty fantastic. (pause) NO, serenading is SO not my last resort.
Overheard in the Commons
by Kate
If she graduates, I’m boycotting the school.
Published April 3, 2008 Ditzes , In a class , Information Technology/Engineering Building , Professors , Students 0 CommentsFemale Student: Maryland is on the west… or the east coat… West coast right?
Professor: No… Maryland is on the east coast.
Female Student: Right… right.
Overheard in a class, Information Technology/Engineering Building
by Lizard_Almighty
The hair dye has clearly seeped into her brain.
Published March 29, 2008 Chesapeake Hall , Ditzes , Outside 0 CommentsPurple Haired Girl: I managed not to tell anyone I was coaster today!
Overheard outside of Chesapeake Hall
by Simone
I want to “fork” you somewhere else, though.
Published March 25, 2008 Dining Hall , Ditzes , Students 0 CommentsGirl: Stop making me spoon your head! Wait… wait… that came out wrong.
Overheard in the Dining Hall
by Dave
So much stupid in one conversation!
Published March 7, 2008 Ditzes , Math/Psych Building , Students 0 Comments Girl 1: My initials are HG, like HG TV.
Girl 2: No, that’s HD. Isn’t HG like an element or something?
Girl 1: I don’t know.
Girl 2: Yeah, I think it is. Gold or something.
Overheard in the Math/Psych Building
by student2
They study chemistry so extensively because they want to make a basement meth lab.
Published February 3, 2008 A.O.K. Library , Ditzes , Students 0 CommentsGirl: So, I like, go for tutoring at the chemistry tutorial center, and I ask a question, and they, like, always know! And I’m like “How do you always know?”
Overheard in the A.O.K. Library
by the red-headed stepchild
