Professor: What happens if you inhale chlorine?
Student: Um… you die?

Overheard in Chemistry class, Chemistry Building
by Moo

Bartender: The answer was the North Sea. We did not accept Nordic or Norse.
Guy: But my hand has a lisp!

Overheard at trivia at Flat Tuesdays in the Commons
by Hickleper

Professor: I’m not that smart–I’m telling you that right now now.

Overheard in a Physics class, Physics Building
by student2

Professor, turning to class: Just to let you know, I can hear everything from here. So whether what you’re saying is important or not, it is annoying and distracting to me.

Overheard in a class the Physics Building
by J

(No really, ride the S.L.U.T.)

Professor: I once worked in a component called STD. After much consulting and deliberation, they decided to rename the component NSTD. Oh, by the way, none of you are recording this, right?

Overheard in Software Design class, Sondheim Building
by The Guy Who Recorded This

Professor: It’s wrong. IT’S ALL WRONG! TAKE OUT YOUR NEEDLES!!

Overheard in a Philosophy class, Academic IV Building
by Coldbeard

Professor, showing a PowerPoint slide with pictures of rabbits: I was expecting an, “awwwww.”
Everyone is silent for a moment.
Students: Awwww.

Overheard in Lecture Hall 2, Chemistry Building
by Lisa

Student: Did you bring the book with you today?
Professor: Yes, here you go, if you lose it, I WILL ASSASSINATE YOU!
(Student laughs.)
Professor: No really, I will.

Overheard in a History class, Sondheim Building
by MH

Professor: You’re going to become grammar warriors.

Overheard in an English class, Fine Arts Building
by Hickleper

Guy: They rape you even if you don’t use it.
Other Guy: I know man, sometimes they just rape you up against the wall.

Overheard in the Commons
by JK